[ it's almost sweet, these kinds of words. things that larus wants to hear and sometimes desires when he remembers he's not entirely a monster. dorian must understand that too, recognizes it sometimes in the things he says or the way he acts. but with it comes a pain he hasn't had to live through in quite some time—at least since he'd arrived there. what he wants and needs versus what he has is so utterly different than this.

being selfish in that way is difficult for him. ]

There's still more you don't know, but you never would have been the one to do that to me. [ he hesitates, distracted by dorian's eyes and the fingers pushing into his skin. despite the shower, he suddenly feels unusually cold. ] I'm not sure.

[ it's not a rejection because he doesn't want it to be, some sharp feeling welling in his chest as he stares at him, unblinking. ]

Maybe we could be good for each other. Or maybe we'd end up tearing each other apart. I've never – [ larus swallows, dropping his hands to let them clutch at dorian's hips. he's so close to saying yes. ] I'm drawn to you, and I can't make sense of it. What if it's not the right choice?