The arguments his soulmate makes are good ones, ones Toby knows and has been fighting with on his own. He didn't technically break while they were apart, he only got very close and toed the line on occasion. He has been doing this successfully for several hundred years without simply falling into the kind of pattern someone like Ivor did. And for all the lows he's found and tripped into over the past century, he keeps finding his way back up to... well, maybe not to the surface, but close enough that the earth above him feels warm as he digs through it. For how fragile he feels after the whiplash of finding Dorian again, the vampire isn't going to break apart from taking what's being offered to him.
He sighs heavily and runs a hand through his hair, trying to process all of this as quickly as possible. Even with so many things on his side, the fear of what he could do to hurt his soulmate still sit heavily with him. They've touched edges of things they shouldn't together on multiple occasions before they were separated, and Toby wants to think he could reach that level of comfort now that they're together again. The only way to reach it, though, is to try.
"It's hard to be confident after all that," he agrees, his fingers loosely curling tighter around Dorian's leg. "About this, at least. I've never been shaken like this before." Centuries of struggles and this is the only one that's pushed him to the breaking point. Toby frowns and pointedly ignores the thought that crosses his mind about tossing back all the wine left between the two glasses at the edge of the tub. He's been doing fine without it for the past few weeks; There's no need to throw all that out because this particular conversation is more difficult than others they've been having. He can do this. Mostly. Hopefully. Ugh.
Reaching out for Dorian's free hand, Toby holds it gently in his own. "You trust me to do this?" he asks, completely earnest and with his vulnerability on full display. It's not the kind of thing he likes to show, but this is the one person he's willing to show it to. "Even if this all goes wrong and I..." A beat. No, he won't say it. They both know how bad this can get. "Knowing the risks, knowing I'm a risk, you still trust me?"
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He sighs heavily and runs a hand through his hair, trying to process all of this as quickly as possible. Even with so many things on his side, the fear of what he could do to hurt his soulmate still sit heavily with him. They've touched edges of things they shouldn't together on multiple occasions before they were separated, and Toby wants to think he could reach that level of comfort now that they're together again. The only way to reach it, though, is to try.
"It's hard to be confident after all that," he agrees, his fingers loosely curling tighter around Dorian's leg. "About this, at least. I've never been shaken like this before." Centuries of struggles and this is the only one that's pushed him to the breaking point. Toby frowns and pointedly ignores the thought that crosses his mind about tossing back all the wine left between the two glasses at the edge of the tub. He's been doing fine without it for the past few weeks; There's no need to throw all that out because this particular conversation is more difficult than others they've been having. He can do this. Mostly. Hopefully. Ugh.
Reaching out for Dorian's free hand, Toby holds it gently in his own. "You trust me to do this?" he asks, completely earnest and with his vulnerability on full display. It's not the kind of thing he likes to show, but this is the one person he's willing to show it to. "Even if this all goes wrong and I..." A beat. No, he won't say it. They both know how bad this can get. "Knowing the risks, knowing I'm a risk, you still trust me?"