"I don't know either. It's not-- it isn't like I planned for this to happen. Which you know, of course. But that still doesn't change the reality that I did... I do have feelings for her. I don't want her to be hurt, the same way I don't want to hurt you with whatever choice ends up being made."
It's a strange thought to occur in a moment like this, but this is why he doesn't like marriage. If eternal partners and soulmates really did exist, it wouldn't have been possible for him to have feelings for anyone but Toby, in the past or the present. Except in their case reality did what reality does, and while he was sure Toby was lost forever, body corrupted and soul burned upon Lucifer's altar, he met someone else.
Some of the people he met and fell for in Toby's previous absence were lessons, rather than partners. If only that had been the case this time.
If only the solution they'd tried to live with for months had worked out.
"There's more to it than just this, too. I'm not... I don't mean to bring this out as a means of guilting you, but I've been told by two of Amartolosa's relatives to expect revenge if I hurt her." A beat. "They can't kill me forever, obviously, but they wouldn't have to. They could go after you, or find ways to do some lasting harm that's nothing to do with physical pain." Dorian sighs, and crosses his arms over his chest as he looks out the drawing room window. The way he sees it, there's simply no way anyone is getting through this unscathed. "If I did end my relationship with her, I'd have to do it carefully."
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It's a strange thought to occur in a moment like this, but this is why he doesn't like marriage. If eternal partners and soulmates really did exist, it wouldn't have been possible for him to have feelings for anyone but Toby, in the past or the present. Except in their case reality did what reality does, and while he was sure Toby was lost forever, body corrupted and soul burned upon Lucifer's altar, he met someone else.
Some of the people he met and fell for in Toby's previous absence were lessons, rather than partners. If only that had been the case this time.
If only the solution they'd tried to live with for months had worked out.
"There's more to it than just this, too. I'm not... I don't mean to bring this out as a means of guilting you, but I've been told by two of Amartolosa's relatives to expect revenge if I hurt her." A beat. "They can't kill me forever, obviously, but they wouldn't have to. They could go after you, or find ways to do some lasting harm that's nothing to do with physical pain." Dorian sighs, and crosses his arms over his chest as he looks out the drawing room window. The way he sees it, there's simply no way anyone is getting through this unscathed. "If I did end my relationship with her, I'd have to do it carefully."