The declaration doesn't feel... real, nor does the followup feel fair. Dorian making a choice in the heat of the moment isn't exactly what Toby was pushing for, but having that tiny push back to keep dealing with his pain and anxiety about welcoming another person into their home and relationship overshadows the relief it could have brought. Maybe that's not what the younger immortal intended with his words, but that's how it feels to the vampire. It's ugly and an attempt to shirk what has to remain with him as far as decisions. Toby sighs heavily and rubs the back of his neck with his free hand, shaking his head the whole while.
This could have been such a romantic and meaningful moment, but of course it couldn't be. If Dorian can shove consequences or blame onto someone else, he will always choose to do so.
"If you're choosing one of us, and you want it to be me, then choose me. Don't... settle or try to coerce me into letting you have whatever you want while I'm forced to make do." He shakes his head again as he ashes his cigarette. "I want you, but you better fucking want me too, otherwise we'll end up right back here again in a few months' time."
Why did Dorian have to say it like that? Of the thousands of ways he could have said it - and still rightfully struggled and been upset - he had to fucking say it that way? Why? What good does it do to push on him more while they're already arguing over this?
Slumping down against the end of the bed, Toby sinks to the floor and stares out the open window. "All I've ever wanted is to be with you," he mutters, the tears in his eyes obvious in his voice. For better or worse, for all the struggles and pain its brought, he's never not wanted their relationship since he admitted his feelings to himself. "But I can't take being the last to be considered anymore. I can't ignore how much this has hurt me any longer, no matter how hard I try to drown my feelings."
no subject
This could have been such a romantic and meaningful moment, but of course it couldn't be. If Dorian can shove consequences or blame onto someone else, he will always choose to do so.
"If you're choosing one of us, and you want it to be me, then choose me. Don't... settle or try to coerce me into letting you have whatever you want while I'm forced to make do." He shakes his head again as he ashes his cigarette. "I want you, but you better fucking want me too, otherwise we'll end up right back here again in a few months' time."
Why did Dorian have to say it like that? Of the thousands of ways he could have said it - and still rightfully struggled and been upset - he had to fucking say it that way? Why? What good does it do to push on him more while they're already arguing over this?
Slumping down against the end of the bed, Toby sinks to the floor and stares out the open window. "All I've ever wanted is to be with you," he mutters, the tears in his eyes obvious in his voice. For better or worse, for all the struggles and pain its brought, he's never not wanted their relationship since he admitted his feelings to himself. "But I can't take being the last to be considered anymore. I can't ignore how much this has hurt me any longer, no matter how hard I try to drown my feelings."