mayfairmonster: (Far off stare; Smoking; W/e)
Dorian Gray (The Confessions of Dorian Gray) ([personal profile] mayfairmonster) wrote2030-02-11 08:43 pm
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"If you don’t know who this is, hang up now. If you do [A long-suffering sigh] why not leave a message?"


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mislay: (pic#11773391)

[personal profile] mislay 2022-04-09 11:16 pm (UTC)(link)
[ larus isn't giving himself time to think (or question) any of that. he's been comfortable with dorian for a while, even before their more intimate encounter, and so, it really doesn't surprise him that this feels about the same. slightly different given the fact they're both filthy, but regardless, it's good. he feels safe, and for the first time in a while, larus realizes he doesn't have to be so on edge.

there's a look narrowed in dorian's direction that says he doesn't know what that is. blood on the dance floor? ]


I never said I felt guilty, only that I owed you.

[ and as it grows warmer, larus falls silent once more as he urges them both inside under blissfully hot water. at first, all he does is stand there and soak it up, conscious of the sensation of it as the water at their feet begins to turn a much darker color. he closes his eyes, letting the seconds go by before speaking only slightly louder than the spray of the shower. ]

You weren't obligated to come to my rescue.
mislay: (pic#11773386)

[personal profile] mislay 2022-04-10 12:02 am (UTC)(link)
[ his hair is nearly soaked through by the time dorian touches him, resting a palm against the other's chest as he leans into the pressure of his mouth. the kiss is light, tender. there's something there he should pursue, but the ability to concentrate still isn't entirely there, turning his face away from him so that his lips graze the corner of his mouth. his cheek. ]

It depends on what it is you want to hear.

[ after all the blood, he's feeling a bit more amiable. enough to talk or even offer dorian whatever it might be that he wants. larus has an idea though, an inkling of one. he hasn't spoken much of how he'd come to be like this, and any push in that direction has been immediately deflected.

could he offer that story to him in exchange for his life? he doesn't know. ]
mislay: (pic#11773366)

[personal profile] mislay 2022-04-10 12:45 am (UTC)(link)
[ it's certainly not what he'd expected, clearly surprised as he takes the slightest step backwards to look at him. there's water trickling down his face, nearly getting into his eyes, and larus brushes at it, making an attempt at accessing what he's supposed to do with such a comment. nothing comes to him, of course. his confusion is almost palpable as he continues to stare at him. ]

You said not to ask you about a contract. How is this any different?

[ it's not a denial or an acceptance quite yet.

his hands move to catch dorian's too, curling lightly around his wrists and resting his thumbs against the pulse there. just to listen, to feel. to touch him and know that none of this is some elaborate illusion. he's so focused that dorian could probably see the intensity of it simply by looking at him in return. ]
mislay: (pic#11773368)

[personal profile] mislay 2022-04-10 01:26 am (UTC)(link)
[ it's almost sweet, these kinds of words. things that larus wants to hear and sometimes desires when he remembers he's not entirely a monster. dorian must understand that too, recognizes it sometimes in the things he says or the way he acts. but with it comes a pain he hasn't had to live through in quite some time—at least since he'd arrived there. what he wants and needs versus what he has is so utterly different than this.

being selfish in that way is difficult for him. ]


There's still more you don't know, but you never would have been the one to do that to me. [ he hesitates, distracted by dorian's eyes and the fingers pushing into his skin. despite the shower, he suddenly feels unusually cold. ] I'm not sure.

[ it's not a rejection because he doesn't want it to be, some sharp feeling welling in his chest as he stares at him, unblinking. ]

Maybe we could be good for each other. Or maybe we'd end up tearing each other apart. I've never – [ larus swallows, dropping his hands to let them clutch at dorian's hips. he's so close to saying yes. ] I'm drawn to you, and I can't make sense of it. What if it's not the right choice?
mislay: (pic#11773398)

[personal profile] mislay 2022-04-10 01:53 am (UTC)(link)
[ he should be used to the certainty, a trait that only comes to him in other ways. ]

Everything. [ it's soft, wishing he could turn and leave all of this behind. but tonight's proved that he isn't going to survive without some sort of help. ] I died for putting too much trust in the wrong person. In some ways, I would be giving you more than that.

[ more than his life, a responsibility that they'd discussed a few times before. ] If I said yes, what would you want from me?
mislay: (pic#11773405)

[personal profile] mislay 2022-04-10 02:30 am (UTC)(link)
[ if you became mine.

it's mortifying how easily he wants to give in because of that, because of something so basic. something that's been nipping at his heels for the past year or so since he'd met casimir. but this isn't the same as that, and there's a sort of mutual understanding between them that has nothing to do with any kind of romantic gestures. affection, maybe. attraction, certainly. larus smooths his hands out, easing a step closer to him so they're pressed flush together. ]


Alright. [ if this is something that would make dorian happy, he could manage it. being here with him in this place isn't the worst decision he could make. ] But I won't be a burden to you. I want it to be equal between us.

[ he doesn't need someone to take care of him. ]
mislay: (pic#11773391)

[personal profile] mislay 2022-04-10 12:19 pm (UTC)(link)
[ he knows it isn't going to be entirely equal when the city demands otherwise, but between them, that's how he wants it. there are certain things he will allow and others he won't, regardless of what this place pressures them into; there's just going to be a lot more give on his part because of his position and the mark that permanently stains his skin.

there's a sigh as the smell of the soap rises up stronger than anything else now, most of the grime having been washed away. this is no time to think about home or the person he craves to see, not when he's with someone else. so, he reaches out to take the soap from him to set it aside and gently massages at the skin, only using the slightest scrape of his fingers to remove the rest of the blood still there. something about this exchange would have been even more intimate had larus the capacity to think about it, but he's exhausted. ]


We'll have a lot to talk about later then. [ not just terms but everything else. and shifting gears slightly: ] I can stay in the other room. I'll just need to borrow something to wear.

[ not that the people here would seem fussed about a naked person wandering around, but he'd rather not if he can help it. once he leaves, of course. ]
mislay: (pic#11773404)

[personal profile] mislay 2022-04-10 03:06 pm (UTC)(link)
[ maybe it's the exhaustion, maybe something else, but there's an odd sensation in his chest at the mention of his heart, the pressure and warmth of dorian's hand there above it. that had been the least of the pain he'd experienced, surprisingly, and he rests his palm atop the other man's, slipping his fingers underneath to give it a squeeze. he can almost sense the feelings running through him with those few words. why it doesn't bother him as much might be strange, but he's had so many threats against his life in the past that this feels like nothing. ]

I'm fine, Dorian. [ then, slowly, he shakes his head. ] They got me from behind, but I think I know who did it. I —

[ a frown settles over his features. ]

It shouldn't matter. If I'm going to be here with you, they might forget about me. Especially since they probably believe I died in that alley where they left me. [ he isn't going to hold a grudge against them for that, not when it had been retaliation for the things he'd done while he'd been down there. as much in self-defense as it had been.

releasing dorian's hand, he steps aside to leave the shower. ]
Don't think about it right now. We both need rest.
mislay: (pic#11111911)

[personal profile] mislay 2022-04-10 05:23 pm (UTC)(link)
[ he's not in any position to really argue over clothes, and most of the time, he doesn't particular care either way what they look like. when dorian returns, it's easy to tell it's certainly something he would never choose for himself but enough to match the darker colors he usually prefers—if only to blend in better with the shadows and hide any serious damage that might occur when he's out. larus takes them regardless, pulling those pants on and slipping his arms through the shirt without bothering to button it after he's reasonably dry. if the circumstances had been different, he might have found it odd to be dressed in dorian's clothes, but it's qkind of nice. ]

Thank you. [ there's a pause, taking dorian in and moving close to push damp hair out of his face. ] You've done more for me than anyone else has in a long time.

[ keeping him alive, taking him in. he still needs to process what being dorian's submissive will be like, but they can figure that out hours from now after things have settled. larus brushes his thumb over his cheek. ]

Let me take you to bed.

[ so he can actually rest. ]
mislay: (pic#11111913)

[personal profile] mislay 2022-04-10 08:17 pm (UTC)(link)
[ larus doesn't want to leave like this, not when there's so much to discuss, but he gives dorian the slightest nod in response, another touch of his fingers gliding over shower-warm skin. then, he turns and disappears out of the main bedroom, not wanting to push their boundaries further than they've been already. it's the exhaustion, too, that drives him into that spare room, glancing around the inside of it once he's through the threshold and not really caring about the decor as much as he does the bed waiting there for him.

he leaves the door ajar in case dorian wants to join him, an open invitation despite not having said or discussed otherwise.

and the entire time he lays there on that mattress, above the blankets and on his back to stare at the ceiling, he can't get his mind to relax. tired as he is, there's too much to think about, and all he does is listen to dorian's heartbeat in the next room, the sounds he makes as he adjusts the curtains to make it darker for him to block out the sun once it rises. when the noises die down, larus continues to track where he is inside the suite until he eventually forces his eyes closed to rest. ]
mislay: (pic#11773391)

[personal profile] mislay 2022-04-10 09:37 pm (UTC)(link)
[ larus is already up with the sun.

he'd never really understood that part of himself, how he just knows it's out there, but he can sense it the very moment he opens his eyes, quickly moving from the bed to tug the curtains tightly over the window before retreating to a corner of the room to sit in a chair that had been placed there. having never stayed at dorian's before, he listens to the sounds of the people in the building waking up and then dorian himself, lingering only a little longer than his obvious entrance into the kitchen before emerging.

larus' hair is still a mess, having dried so that some of the wave in his hair falls chaotically, and he'd carefully buttoned the shirt to cover himself while also rolling up the cuffs to free his wrists and hands. but whatever he might look like doesn't matter, feeling much more energized and having healed while he'd slept. if anything remains, it'll be gone by the time the sun goes down. and rather than rush into the main room, he stands in the hallway to watch dorian for a few seconds longer.

he doesn't think he's ready for this conversation, but it needs to be done. ]


How are you feeling? [ it's asked as he crosses the space between them to join him on the loveseat, a bit more at ease than he has been the last few times they've spent time together there. ]
mislay: (pic#11111922)

[personal profile] mislay 2022-04-10 10:32 pm (UTC)(link)
[ he meets his eyes without shying away, offering him some semblance of a smile. ]

Because of you. [ which isn't a reminder he wants to get into, though larus just decides to move right into what's been on his mind since the early hours of the morning. ] And I won't hold anything you said against you if it's not something you really wanted to offer.

[ the contract, he means. living there with him. exhaustion can do a number of things, and if both of them had been tired enough to simply sleep, it's telling as to what could have been brought up in the heat of the moment. ]

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