mayfairmonster | IC Inbox

[Upon Dorian's arrival to Duplicity - his second arrival - a series of voicemails is delivered in rapid succession. All with their original unique dates and timestamps included at the start of each. All of them are from Tobias Matthews.

Over thirty messages are delivered. The majority are as follows:]

[Toby's voice is tired, his words slurring together. He's been drinking all day since he lost his soulmate, gone through a full pack of smokes, and he's not slept yet. He doesn't know if he can at this point.]

Darling, I know they've said you're gone, but... please let this be a joke. I don't care how shitty this is. I won't even call you a twat for it. Come home. Please.

Don't leave me alone.

[He still hasn't slept, and now he's beginning to hit the delirious stage of exhaustion and drunkenness.]

Why aren't you in bed? Our bed. It still smells like you. [A hiccup and then a long sigh.] Going to smell like you forever, too. Grayson saw to that.
Decent chap, Grayson. Once you get him out of being a stuffy git.

[A long silence, then another sigh.] Don't leave me here, Dorian. Don't go back to-- to that asshole who isn't me but's wearing my face. Come back.

[It's been a week. He's slept. He's gone to work. He's drunk his weight and volume in liquor multiple times over. So of course he's drunk (still drunk?) before going out to work tonight.]

This doesn't get easier, does it? Living without you? I never asked much, 'cause... well, I didn't want to know. You've got it worse, out there with Lucifer, but it's still...

[Silence. The click of a lighter and a slow exhale.]

I can't believe I did this to you in the 80s. I can't believe you took me back after it. Glad you did, but this is bad. Worse than I thought possible.

[An audible swallow and a pass of his hand through his hair as he cries.]

Fuck.

Edited (omg forgot a line on this one fff) 2024-01-21 06:33 (UTC)

[There's been a few voicemails the past ten days, with most of them some variety of him crying drunkenly about being alone. Today Toby's coherent, if obviously still drunk, when he calls.]

The finder outed that I need a new Dom to stay in the house. Our house. The whole of the network already knew you were gone, I'd taken care of that the day they took you from me. [There's a resignation to his voice as he says it.] Hinted that I was a vampire, too. More directly than the other attempts. Still not head on, but close enough that those who already knew came flocking to check in on me.

Lestat came over uninvited, force fed me from his own arm. Unnecessary, with Kyle keeping me in my cups, as it were. Few others came, too, and only one got so bad I had to expel them forcefully. Doubt I recover that "friendship" ever. [It doesn't sound like he cares right now.]

Vanessa offered her condolences, and we had a nice chat. [A long, smoky exhale.] Unexpected, that. Maybe it shouldn't be, but here we are. I think I might grow to like her, with a little time to adjust. Dunno. We'll see.

Elle figured it out, finally, what I am. Cutest thing, the way she asked about it. Wanted to know how I was able to eat all her sweets. [He chuckles, but it's so very tired.] We've signed now, a thing of convenience and trust for us both. She's lost her Sub lately, and as I've lost you...

[A sigh. A long, sad, put upon sigh.]

I just want you back. I don't have to live with her, but I want you back in my life.

Please, Dorian. Darling... come back.

[There's a number of "I love you" and "Come back to me" messages these days, but not much else. Toby's been trudging through life without getting much of anywhere, and it's obvious in the way he sounds so resigned to all of it. But today, he wants to gossip, and who better to do it with than his soulmate?

His now long disappeared soulmate.]

Did you know there are fae here? Well, one that I know of for sure. A changeling. Comes with all his own rules and contracts and other fae bullshit. [A huffed laugh.] Didn't see that coming.

He "brews" drinks. No idea how, and he doesn't know either, but he told me to sit with him while he worked. Let me be morose about you. Figured out what I was without me saying anything. [He doesn't sound too upset by that, though he's obviously not happy either.]

I drank something of his that made it felt like you'd just kissed me. It was... [A long pause and an audible gulp before a glass gets set down on the coffee table.]

I shouldn't have done it. It wasn't part of some bargain, but it made me miss you again. I miss kissing you, seeing your smile and tasting your horrible morning breath.

[The sound of a glass being filled, then gulped down, follows.] Fuck this city.

[It's quiet for at least a minute before Toby sighs and lights a cigarette.]

This is it. The last of you that's in the city. I'm... having that today. Before I go out. [Because he's got to have something in his system to bolster him before he drinks himself into a stupor.]

God, I miss you. Today's the worst it's ever been, and I don't think it gets better from here.

[How could it when Dorian's just gone?]

[For the first time since his soulmate left, Toby's angry when he calls. There's sounds of pacing and creaking metal in the background.]

They said it. They bloody said it, Dorian. They told the entire bloody city what I am! Literally spelled it out with my best and worst qualities, right there on the network with a pretty picture of me above it. God, those assholes!

[The sun being up is the only thing keeping him in the house right now. Not even the stupid curfew he mentioned in a previous message could stop him. He's not looking to die before he takes someone else with him.

He exhales slowly and crunches the metal thing in his hand, dropping it to the floor with a scoff.] I'll replace the bloody pan later. I just needed something to do with my hands since I can't shoot things in the head in my games right now.

[He sounds a little breathless when he speaks, laughter in every syllable. It's been a good sort of night. Sort of.]

Darling, you'll never-- [A scoff, then a laugh.]

I just got in from taking Vanessa home, of all people You tried to introduce us and I always resisted, because she's-- well, she's chosen what she is. But we've sort of bonded over your loss. She gets it, having lost a Dorian Gray of her own in the past.

[There's a whooshing of air as he waves his hand in front of his face.] We went out tonight to see some movie the city put on at the park, and it was porn, of course. We'd hoped for better, but ignoring that, we ended up making out through most of it. Everyone else around us was crawling under their blankets, we just kissed. Pulled her into my lap after a time and everything.

[He chuckles, and Dorian can imagine the incredulous headshake going with it.] Of all the people, and it's her. And I liked it.

So... that happened. [And he's having trouble believing it.]

[As has happened a few times now, there's nothing but silence for a time when this starts. Eventually, Toby sighs.]

Grayson's gone. I'm sorry, darling.

[It's all he can muster right now. All that's head in the last thirty seconds of the call is Toby pouring another drink, then slamming it before he cuts out.]

[He doesn't want to say this again so soon after losing one person, but he has to vent it somewhere since no one else is talking about it. He bloody hates it.]

Daphne's gone now too. They made her a Dom and then sent her away only a few weeks later. LIES really has it in for us.

[Really has it in for him. God, he doesn't know how much more of this he can take. He's just going to drown his sorrows in the glass he's pouring now until the time allotted to voicemails runs out.]

[Toby's panting softly when the call opens, the sounds of birdsong, light traffic, and wind in the background. Occasionally he drags at a cigarette or throws back a drink, but it's a long time before he says anything.]

Holy shit. I'm alive.

[The call ends abruptly when time runs out a few seconds later.]

[There's no hesitation at the start of this call. Toby's obviously anxious from whatever it was that had him so on edge during his last call.]

Sorry about last night, darling. I hope I didn't scare you too much. I know that's easy these days. [Toby sighs and drags a hand through his hair before his pacing can be heard in the background of the call.]

Something happened to the Solace Trees. They're wrong now. Terribly so. I didn't know it when I went to investigate from afar on my way to work the other night, but they... something about them made me...

[Another sigh.] I'm sure this is making it harder to hear, and I'm sorry. I'm still trying to figure out what happened.

[Silence stretches for at least sixty seconds before he continues.] I had the urge to go to the beach. To go and watch the sunrise. Made Kazu go with me when he asked what was wrong after I stepped into the bar. He didn't know better, and that's what I wanted. I wanted to give in to that same urge from the 80s and just--

[Another few seconds of silence.] You know how it goes. I'm sorry. I won't say more on it.

But even with my ability to charm and talk my way into whatever I want, I didn't die. For months, Kyle's been trying to get me to take what he calls a "sunlight ring." Makes vampires impervious to the sun. He and Kazu have been talking about me, clearly, because Kazu managed to catch my hand and force the damn thing on before the sun could come up.

So... here I am. Alive. I called from the yard yesterday. Did you hear it? The birds and all else we hear from the garden? It works, darling. I can put it on and step outside, no two ways about it.

[He inhales through his nose and drops his head. His voice is muffled when he speaks again.]

I don't want it without you. I can't give it back, but I'll not use it. I'm going to throw it in the attic and get so drunk I forget I've done that. Unless you come back to me... I'm never going back out into the sun. Ever.

[Toby's voice is soft and full of tears, muffled as if he's hiding in a closet or covered in clothes. It's the latter, in this case.]

Happy birthday, darling. I love you.

[It's all he can say before the tears come and he has to end the call.]

[There's a click of a lighter and a chuckle as the call starts.]

I know, earlier than my usual, but I had to laugh with you about something. [A long, slow exhale after a drag on his smoke.]

You know those quota challenges they've been assigning? How they're supposed to be hard for people? This month's is to have sex seven days in a row. Only seven, and people are complaining all the time! [He raises his voice in terrible mimicry of a random stranger.] "That's so many days! What if my dick or my cunt get tired? What if I miss a day by minutes?!"

[It's so ridiculous that he can't keep it up and dissolves into a fit of laughter.] I was done days ago, of course. If you'd been here, I would've been done the 7th. These people are so dramatic about sex. It's the funniest thing.

[A long pause, and his voice is a little sad as he adds:] Just thought you'd like the laugh as much as I do.

[A few minutes later, Toby calls back. The levity's mostly gone from his voice now.]

So you know... Elle asked if I'd sign a permanent contract with her. I told her no, obviously, but just her asking made me wonder about the state of things. Do I seem so much better that she thought it was a good idea? Do I seem content the way others are in their contracts?

[He sighs and flicks open his lighter to start another cigarette.] It's a thought I'd not had, and I really don't like it when I'm alone here.

[A sigh, then a groan as Toby faceplants into the bed. His voice is muffled when he speaks.]

Tumenalia's just no fun without you. Making fun of the shitty art by the Creator's Dom is no fun without you. Nothing is as much fun without you.

[A long beat of silence.] Though we can be glad I didn't get stuck with one of those godawful paintings. They put all our names in a raffle for them without our saying so! Really, be grateful you'll not-- [A shorter, more painful beat.]

Just be glad you'll never have to see them. They were seriously some of the worst shit I've ever seen. Even if you'd been Bodem, you'd've shit all over this stuff. It was that bad.

[He'll never hear it, but if he ever does... Toby's sure Dorian will appreciate this particular bit of gossip.]

[There's no hesitation at the start of this one. Someone's in a mood. Not that angry, but a "listen to the shit I just dealt with" one. Dorian knows it well.]

Can I just say that other vampires suck? [A beat, and he groans.] Not like that, though they do also do that, but no. They're terrible and I don't like dealing with any of them. They can all piss off with their need to help or rubbing it in my face that they're doing bloody fine without any consequences for being a goddamn monster.

[Another beat, and a resigned sigh.] Vanessa can stay, though. She's lovely. But the rest?! [He hmphs at the phone.] Far away, please. Yes, even Lestat, the bastard.

[It's noisy in the background of the call. Toby's obviously calling on his break at The Back Door.]

The weather woman, goddess I think? Whatever she is, she made snow and ice again at the Community Center this year. Got into the best snowball fight before work today. [He chuckles and exhales away from the phone.] You'd think I'd be over it by now, but I'm really not. It's just so fun. Helps that I had a good opponent this time. Really made me work for the truce we called.

[His next breath's a little more wistful.] I wish you were here for skating again. I miss that.

[A slightly too long beat.] I just miss you.

[He's laughing as the call starts, chortling that way he does when he's particularly amused by something ridiculous. Dorian knows it well, considering it follows (among other ridiculous things) every betrayal of sweets in Duplicity that he intends on eating again anyway.]

You know, I think I finally met someone here who's got crazier stories than we do. Or a different type of crazy, I should say. She's from bloody space, like all those serials! Only it's real for her.

Met her at the awful Tumenalia party the Creator threw, and of course her finder ad this month was written by someone who wouldn't bring themselves to type the wild stories up. I've been enjoying swapping wild stories with her for a bit now. It's great. I'll show you later.

[There's a hesitation where it sounds like Toby might say something else, but instead he just sighs and hangs up.]

[The click of a lighter starts the call, followed by a long exhale. It sounds like Toby's outside somewhere, the countdown chant of ten, nine, eight... in the background. When everyone shouts with joy and the fireworks start, Toby sighs and swallows down a glass of something.]

Happy New Year, darling. Wherever you are... I hope you're kicking Lucifer's teeth in.

[He's chuckling when the line picks up this time.]

Is it a good or a bad thing when someone asks me for help finding a house? To be fair, it's Faith, and you'll remember she and I got along famously. Still! She asked me to help her find something here in Duplicity!

I'm doing it, of course. And we're going to have sex in the best ones we see, of course. Can't take a house you've not properly vetted.

[A beat.] You know, I'm glad we didn't do that with our house. Getting to cross the threshold with you in my arms before that first time was so much better than a quick fuck between you measuring a place for hours on end before deciding it wasn't really what you wanted.

[He says it fondly. He misses your bullshit, sir.]

[He's on break at work, staring up at the not-sky of the Down and smoking. There's a little sigh before he speaks.]

New batch of LIERs coming in today. I already feel sorry for the poor sods, getting pulled here against their will. They'll not have any idea how bad it is until it suddenly is for them. They've already lost, and they don't even know it.

[Another sigh as he flops back into a chair.]

Guess that's how things'll be forever, won't they? Or until someone else figures out how to dismantle this place. I'm too bloody tired to fight it on my own.

[The last words go unspoken: I'm too tired to fight it without you.]

I hope you're doing well, darling. I need you to be doing better than I am here without you. Wherever you are.

[Dorian barely has time to step into his tower suite after being handed his new phone, before he's hit with a barrage of voicemails. He ignores the relentless pinging of the device (What could it be but more cultist orientation shit? He doesn't know anyone in Duplicity and, frankly, doesn't care to right now.) only to come back an hour later and wish desperately that he hadn't waited.

Because the voicemails are shocking. Dorian's heart races and his throat constricts with heartbreak and awe as he makes his way through each message. It can't be true that Toby's alive. Lucifer destroyed everything the man was or ever would be when he stole his body. He told him he was gone, and the fallen angel is eternal, and everything to everyone. He never lies, and losing Toby was the final curse he bought for the sum of his soul.

But each and every message, from the drunkenly mournful and barely coherent, to the lively and gossiping, is every part of the memories of Tobias Matthews that remain etched on his heart. He's drawing short breaths and wiping away tears by the time he's halfway through the collection of voicemails again.

This could be a lie. It could be a trap. He doesn't care. The vanishingly slim chance that this could be real is too much of everything he's wanted for so long, that he automatically presses 'Call' on the voicemail dated in July.

The phone rings, and the sound feels as if it fills the entire suite, blotting out everything and everyone else in the tower. He can't breathe. He's never wanted anything in his life more than to hear the sound of a simple call connecting.

Pick up. Fucking pick up.]

Edited 2024-01-21 19:13 (UTC)

[He's been drinking since the notification that his messages were delivered came in. He suspects it's a city trick, or one of those situations where it's not his Dorian that's gotten them. There's been another of him per Jon's account, so there's a chance it's that one or even a brand new one. Best not to get his hopes up.

So his phone ringing catches him completely off guard, and the whole reason it takes so long to answer it is because he drops the damn thing in his rush to pick it up. Shit. No. Wait! He can get this--]

Hello?! [Nailed it. Last ring, but that's fine. It counts. He takes a breath and pushes aside his glass and the ashtray he was working out of to gape uselessly at the front door. Then his voice goes quiet as he dares to say what his aching heart longs for more than anything.]

...Dorian?

Voicemail; @madonna4ever

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voice; @Gray

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